Thursday, May 17, 2012

A Wonderful Day

Today is a day I will never forget.  I went to the mortuary to pick out a casket and dress my baby for his burial.  My sisters, Tricia, Natalie, and Kimmy came with me.  I really had no idea how any of it would go.  I wasn't sure how I'd react to seeing my baby again.
Choosing the casket, I thought, would be the easy part.  It was an easy choice.  I picked the simple white one with handles so my boys could more easily carry it.  Looking at that tiny casket where my baby's little body would rest was more than I could handle.  My sisters hugged me and we all cried together.
Daren (a family friend and the funeral director) asked me if I had a diaper for Baby Kevin.  I had brought everything but a diaper for him.  I turned to my sisters and said, "What kind of a mother am I?"  I am regularly forgetting and missing things...hopefully the family will bear with me :)  Thankfully the mortuary was prepared and had a diaper for him.
It was then time for me to see my baby.  I was left alone in a small room with him.  As soon as I saw his little body my heart just melted.  He looked so beautiful and peaceful.  Our time at the hospital with him was both wonderful and difficult at the same time.  Everything happened so quickly and we were so rushed to try and make all the important things happen during his short time with us.  I had been feeling bad that I didn't get to have a few minutes alone with him, there was so much I wanted to say but there just wasn't time.
Having that time to dress him and be alone with him was such a gift.  I know it was just his body, but I hope his spirit was there too.  I soaked his little head with my tears.  I was wishing they would have had a rocker in that room.  I really wanted to rock my baby.  But holding him, loving him, and talking to him was enough.  I'll forever cherish those moments.
Most of my siblings who weren't able to come to the hospital were also able to meet Baby Kevin's little earthly body today.  Lot's of tears of gratitude were shed for the effect that sweet baby has had on all of us.

My girls, their cousin Kaitlynn and my sister Kimmy have been working on an arrangement of Baby Kevin's Song for the Graveside Saturday.  If you don't know about Baby Kevin's song you can check out

With my sisters in town we got together for a Girls/Dads night out.  My cousin Erica was in town so she came along too!  We shared funny memories of growing up.  We talked about our kids.  We talked about our cousin's son Ryan who's funeral is tomorrow.  And we talked about Baby Kevin and his birth.

You know you're a mom when...

You carry a stash of candy at all times!

You have a little family of Lego-guys in your purse
(Mindy has 4 boys :)

And of course Natalie carries all kinds of jewelry in her purse!

So grateful for a wonderful day.

To see pictures of my family with Baby Kevin go 

To read about Baby Kevin's Memory Box go 

and to read about Baby Kevin's Graveside Service go