Saturday, May 19, 2012

Celebrating the Life of Kevin David Beck Jr.

This is a long post :)  This may seem like a very sad post given all the tears--and it was a sad day.  However, it was also a beautiful, perfect day.  It was a wonderful thing to honor the short life of our baby boy and to be surrounded by those who love him and love us so much. 
I know there were many who would have liked to attend because they too love this baby and they love our family and wanted to be there to support us.  It was important to me that we kept it small and simple.  I apologize if we hurt any feelings.  We love you all and I hope this post will help you feel a part of this day.




This picture is one I'll always treasure!  We had talked to the kids a few days ago about whether or not they'd like to see Baby Kevin one more time before the casket was closed.  They had all said no, but when we arrived at McDougal Mortuary Kevin told them this was their last chance to see their baby brother if any of them wanted to change their mind.  I was the first one out of the car and I headed right into the mortuary.  When I turned around every one of them was there behind me.  I was so glad!  I thought it would be good for them to see him one last time but I wasn't going to push them.  Each of us held him and kissed him.  We got a wonderful family picture, curlers and all!  We were able to have a family prayer together before the casket was closed.  We pray together as a family every morning and night but this will forever be my very favorite family prayer, with all 10 of us.




We traveled to Malad Idaho, to the Malad City Cemetery.  Many people have been curious as to why we would choose to bury him here.  My sweet Grandpa Moon offered us a burial plot.  Little Kevin shares the grave where my Grandpa and Grandma Moon's twin son Boyd is buried.  He also passed away the same day he was born.  My Grandma Moon who I dearly love is also buried here and I was born here.  Kevin and I don't know where we'll eventually be buried so we weren't sure where to bury him locally.  I have always loved this little cemetery.  I love that his body is resting in such a beautiful place and that he's near my Grandma and my uncle, and many other relatives.



Kevin's side of the family



My side of the family




We asked Grandpa Dave to conduct and Uncle Steve gave the opening prayer.



The opening song was "How Firm a Foundation".  This was both our family's song and the Sollis family song for 2011.  The words are beautiful.  You can read them HERE.



Janie with her Great Grandpa Moon.  All the great grands LOVE their Great Grandpa.  Actually everyone loves Grandpa Moon!  He's 89 and sharp as a whip and so so funny.  I am so happy he was here with us.





Emmy shared a scripture from The Book of Mormon
Mosiah 4:9
Believe in God; believe that he is, and that he created all things, both in heaven and earth; believe that he has all wisdom, and all power, both in heaven and in earth; believe that man doth not comprehend all the things which the Lord can comprehend.




Then I read my love letter to Baby Kevin. 
(Big thanks to Mindy for bringing the basket full of Kleenex :) 
I debated back and forth as to whether I would post it.  I decided to share it.  I'd like for those who weren't with us today to better understand how I felt about my son and what I know about this incredible boy...


My Dear Sweet Baby Kevin,
You and I have quite the history together!  I’ve been looking forward to your arrival for almost 8 years.  I had no idea how long it would take to get you here, the amount of girls who needed to come before you, or how hard you’d have to fight to make it to our family. 
Your time on earth was so short.  I wanted to tell you so many things that I wasn’t able to.  I wanted to tell you how much I love you, how grateful I am to be your mother, and how thankful I am for all you’ve given me over the years.  You’ve blessed my life in so many ways.  Because of you my faith in and my understanding of the Atonement has grown.  My testimony of prayer and personal revelation has been strengthened.  Because of you I’ve seen the hand of the Lord in my life and the life of our family.  Because of you I’ve seen the Christ-like love of others who have reached out to comfort, support and encourage our family.  Because of you our family is stronger and our faith is firm in our Heavenly Father’s plan.  Because of you I appreciate each one of your brothers and sisters more and I try every day to be a better wife and mother

I had hoped to have had a little more time to get to know you.  But as I’ve thought about it, I learned quite a bit about you during the months you were growing inside me.  I remember driving with Dakota to the orthodontist one day.  I was singing the words to your song in my head.  When I would sing your song I usually pictured our family singing it to you, but this particular day you let me know that this song was your song because it was your testimony.  You know You belong to The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, You know who you are, You know God’s plan and You are following Him in Faith.  You believe in the Savior Jesus Christ, You honor His name.  You do what is right, You follow his light, His truth You will proclaim.  I knew that day, the spirit inside me, your spirit, was incredibly strong and faithful and that you had a special purpose to fulfill.

Another thing I learned about you is that you were concerned about me.  You always wanted me to know you were okay.  You were the most active baby of all your brothers and sisters.  Any time I would wonder if you were alright, within seconds of the thought I’d feel a kick or some other movement letting me know you were alive and well. 
I learned you were determined and strong-willed.  You most definitely were determined to come to earth and get a body.  It is a miracle you made it full term, given all your physical challenges.  You are a fighter and I thank you for fighting so hard to be born into our family.  I think about how hard and how long you cried shortly after you were born.  I kept talking to you, trying to calm you down, but as I think back on it now I have no doubt you didn’t want to be quieted.  You wanted everyone to know you made it and oh the things you could have told us if only you were able to talk!
I need to thank you for blessing the lives of your brothers and sisters.  Last Fall I remember offering a heartfelt prayer to my Heavenly Father.  I asked that my children might come to know their Savior while they were young so that they’d know they could turn to Him for help when they needed it.  It was just a few months later that we learned of all your physical challenges.  Our journey with you has been an answer to that prayer as I’ve watched each member of our family grow closer to Jesus Christ.
I want you to know how much I love your Daddy.  I was so happy when he told me he’d like to give you his name.  Your Daddy is a good man who loves the Lord, honors his priesthood and takes such good care of our family.  You are also named after your Grandpa Dave.  He too is a wonderful man who you can be proud to be named after.
Heavenly Father has been so good to me.  He’s blessed me with the gospel of Jesus Christ in my life and a wonderful family.  He blessed me with you and although I had to give you back to Him for now, know that I look forward to raising you one day.  I’ll miss you and I’ll think about you every day until then. 
I love you,
Mom





I am so grateful for this man.  He's been my best friend for 25 years.  I don't know how I could have made it through the last several months without him.




Jackson dedicated the grave.  It was the most sweet heartfelt prayer I have ever heard.  You would never have known this boy was only 18.  In the last couple of weeks my boy has become a man and I am so grateful and humbled to be his mother.




Grandpa Dave talked for a few minutes about where we go after this life and how we'll see our Baby Kevin again.  This life on earth is only temporary, which is why I hope I make every day count.






I am continually amazed at the effect this baby boy had on our family, and so many others, given his time on this earth was so short.




Aunt Kimmy and Emmy put together a beautiful arrangement of Baby Kevin's song.  We all sang it together for the closing song.






My brother Rob (or Uncle Bobby as all the kids call him) gave a beautiful closing prayer.




Then we launched all the balloons.  They looked so pretty against the blue sky.  The weather was perfect.  We couldn't have asked for a better day.








Everyone left for the restaurant but we lingered behind for a few minutes.  We talked as a family about how much we love each other.  How we'll never forget Baby Kevin, and how we'll all try harder to be better so we'll be able to be with him again one day.




We were all so excited for a little baby boy to join our family.  My boys would have been and will some day be the most amazing big brothers to Baby Kevin.  This was hard for them.  It was hard for all the kids and the parents.  But as Emmy and I talked the other day we both agreed, we wouldn't change a thing.  Kevin David Jr did exactly what he came to earth to do.  The lessons we've learned and will continue to learn have an earthly as well as an eternal impact on our family.  We've been blessed and will continue to be blessed by this perfect little spirit.




Thank you Megan... 



and Steve for taking all the great pictures.




After lunch we went back to the grave.  It was so peaceful.  We look forward to going back in a couple of months.  Hopefully his little headstone will be there.




I don't know that I've ever been so tired.  The emotions of the last 4 months have caught up with all of us.  It was hard to drive away from the cemetery.  My heart both ached and was filled with joy for all this baby boy has blessed me with.

To see a few more pictures of Baby Kevin's graveside service go