Beginning with The End in Mind

I have been to several funerals in the last couple months.

It's got me thinking about my funeral.
You must know, as a control enthusiast, I have a few ideas of what I do and do not want at my services.
So I'm putting it out there now.
Family, you're welcome.

Let's start with my 
OBITUARY: Aubrey, you're my girl.
I'd like you to write it and read it at the service.
You can ask for input from Kev (should I die first) and the kids, but ultimately, you are the writer and I trust you'll paint a picture of my life and leave the boring factual stuff out of it (like the schools I went to, all the places I lived and a long list of names of people who proceeded me in death--except for Baby Kevin and big Kevin, should he beat me. FYI--none of the rest of my children by birth or marriage are allowed to join that list.

I've never liked that song.
It's sad and slow.
I'd like the congregation to open the meeting singing ALL verses of How Firm a Foundation. 
I'd like my girls to play their instruments (Em, borrow a cello form someone) and if I have grandchildren who play an instrument, PLEASE add in as many as possible.

For the closing song: As Now We Take the Sacrament
I love that song SO MUCH.
If there's some kind of rule about no sacrament songs outside of sacrament meeting, then go with For the Beauty of the Earth--with the same orchestra you assembled for How Firm a Foundation.

I'd like Leah Terrant to lead.
If I make it to 90, like I'm shooting for, Leah may not be available (we're the same age). In that case, Jackson, you're up.
Aunt Judy, if you're still around I want you to rock the organ. 
If not, Gracie--I'll need you to track down Lesa Aiono, fly her in if you have to.

For the MUSICAL NUMBER: It must be Ashokan Farewell
This is non-negotiable.
If the Bishop won't allow it, you'll have to hold my service at McDougal Mortuary.
Jenna, I want you on the piano and 
Emmy, Assemble as many violins, cello's and bases as you can find among our family and friends to perform the song. I can't wait.

Speaking of McDougal Mortuary.
Darrin, at McDougal, is the go-to for all my post-mortal needs.
If Darrin proceeds me in death, then see if one of his sons have followed in their dad's footsteps.
Janie, I'd like you to do my nails--that light pink color I like.
Girls, you can decide who does my hair.
If it creeps you out, hire someone.
If I have no hair, go with a wig you think I'd like.

I don't want anything fancy for a casket.
Go with something cheap and simple.
The idea of being put in the ground is very unsettling for me, an expensive casket isn't going to help.

It goes without saying that I want to be buried in my temple clothes.
Anyone who wants to put a little memento or note in the casket is welcome to.

I don't need to be buried in my rings.
I have my original wedding ring and the wedding band Kevin gave me for our 15th wedding anniversary.
Aubrey and Jenna, I'm leaving it up to the both of you to decide which grand daughters get these rings.
There's no rush in giving them away, I think you'll know who to give each ring to and when--unless I make it to 90, and then I may decide on my own.

I would like a funeral video.
Kevin, you're the man to do it.
You're the video master.
Should Kevin proceed me in death, or if he's too old, Kloe, Emmy and Jackson, I'd like you to work together on this. And remember, there is no such thing as, "too long", when it comes to honoring your mother.
Make it a good one and post it on the blog as my final post.

Now let's talk about the viewing.
A small family viewing is fine before you close the casket, but skip the public viewing.
I'm not kidding. Especially if Kevin is still alive. He would hate it even more than I would.

Okay, now let's talk about talks.
I'd like each of my children to speak.
There are a lot of you so you'll need to keep it short.
Please share one favorite memory and one thing you learned from me--for better or worse.
Kevin, if you are under 75, I want you to speak since you know me best.
Take as long as you’d like but if it’s the length of your missionary letters, you’ll be in trouble.

I’d like two of my future son-in-laws to pray and make sure the closing prayer is short.  I get triggered when closing prayers go on and on. 

It always seems a little strange to me at the grave when they go straight to the dedication. Garren, would you thank everyone for coming and then read my testimony of Jesus Christ (It will be in an envelope in my most current journal).

I'd like Dakota to give the family prayer before closing the casket and Jackson to dedicate the grave.
Of course all the pall bearers will be my sons and sons in laws, unless you're all in you're 70's and then go with the grandsons.

Since my final resting place is in the Malad Cemetery, Kloe, please reserve space at the Dude Ranch for a meal after you finish at the grave.

As for a headstone, Kevin wants a bench so if he's still alive he can be in charge of that.
If Kevin doesn't have his wits about him, Dakota, I'll need you to take over.
For my side of the bench I want it to say
Beloved wife, mother, and disciple of Jesus Christ

Continue celebrating Baby Kevin in Malad every May and December and throw me into the celebration too.
Eventually, Jesus will come and I'll be waiting there with our son and brother at the grave to greet you.
 And that's going to be a great day.

Popular Posts