Sister Beck's Weekly Update

 Hey guys!! 

I just wanted to say that the longer I'm out here the more weird things feel normal and normal things feel weird. So all week weird things happen but I can't even say enough about them cause it's just normal to me now. 

Remember how I said people will give us anything to eat. Well this week we were given some kind of black bean tofu pulled pork with some actual meat in it too and we made the difficult decision to just toss it. The next morning we went outside and our trash was all over the ground and we look over and see that the bag of tofork was ripped open but none of it was gone. Moral of the story: if ravenous raccoons don't want it, the missionaries probs don't either. Unless you're an elder. Elders seem to eat everything. 

Inspiration time. 

So I've been wondering why I don't have much to report on in my weeklys lately (besides me getting used to the really weird stuff) and it's been frustrating because I use these emails as my main source of journaling because I'm trash at writing things down (you don't have to tell me I know it's terrible and that I'll regret it but that's why I try to write really good emails so at least I'll have those!!) Anyway, I had some deep reflection time this week to really figure out what's going on and why I'm not able to say much even though every day is super unique and usually fun. 

Long story short I came to the conclusion that somewhere within the last month my focus has gone from being outward/others focused to inward/me focused. 

I've been super focused on myself and my comfort and what I want to happen. Instead of what the Lord wants for me. 

Someone gave a talk about how we all go through hard things and if you're doing good unfortunately there's something hard around the corner and that really freaked me out. I was like "uhhh... I'm doing pretty good???" I'm sure this will come as a shock but ever since then I was worrying about that refiners fire and I have literally been so caught up in trying to run from it. 

Turns out I was running straight at it. 

The past two weeks have been really hard!! I've had headaches every day and the work hasn't been super fun even though it should be and I have been really frustrated by that and I kept thinking that I needed to pray to not have any hard experiences because I didn't think I could take it and it wasn't until recently that I realized that 1. I'm already in the furnace and 2. I need to trust that the Lord is going to deliver me. 

Mosiah 29:20 

I've had to take a big slice of humble pie and practice what I preach. 

So even though things are still tough right now I'm doing my part AND I'm also trusting the Lord to do his part as well. 

Have we learned yet how much sister Beck tries to avoid and not have hard things ever?

You'd think I would learn. 

1 Nephi 3:7 

The Lord prepares a way. I will be okay. 

I'm just going to make this quick. Recently, a dumb breakfast burrito smothered in cheese reignited my lactose intolerance. To say I'm mad/devastated/heart broken is an understatement. It'll take me a while to get over it. Thanks a lot Linda. 

Okay I hope I have more for you all next time. I love you! I love God! I love Florida! And I love being a missionary! :)

A disappointed relactose intolerated sister Beck. 

Pictures:

Missionaries rolling up to an event

Tofork 

Sister Belnap has been backed up recently (does anyone read these? If so I'm so sorry)

Me 

Swamp

Self care every night at 9 

Lightning

Muffins