Kloe Goes to Court - Part 3
Over the years Kloe's anxiety would come in waves. Sometimes things would be fairly calm for weeks or months, and then a thought or event would stir up her fears and the feelings of anxiety would return.
Starting High School last year was really overwhelming for Kloe.
New school, new schedule, meeting new friends. And right before school started her brother--one of her best friends, left on his mission.
Kloe has had a busy week so she will talk in more detail about her Sophomore year in a future post but in this post I wanted to share some of the things Cindy Lee, a Licensed Clinical Social Worker taught me and Kevin in a series of four classes we took from her at BYU Education Week last year. It's a lot of information but all SO GREAT in understanding our brains and some of the ways they can help us and also hurt us.
Cindy emphasized the power of the PRESENT MOMENT.
Our brains live in Psychological Time and Real Time.
Our brains live in Psychological Time and Real Time.
Psychological Time=The natural mind is drawn to it. Our internal dialogue or mind chatter (Mind Chatter=the incessant mental noise that prevents you from finding the realm of truth) is always in the past or future. You can't face it because it's not really happening.
In psychological time we can have the experience without having the experience in real time. The mind can't be in two places at once.
Characteristics of Mind Chatter:
Fear based and self-absorbed
Normal, everyone has it
Comes in small fragments
Not active, problem solving or creative
Like a clock
Fills in details towards catastrophic results
Body responds to it as if it's true--just because you think it, it doesn't make it true, but because you think it, it feels real to you
Past mind chatter=depression because you are trying to rewrite the past to be ok or happy, it includes guilt, fear, should/could have, despair
Future mind chatter=anxiety
You don't have a choice as to whether or not you'll have mind chatter, but you do have a choice whether or not you believe it. If it goes unchecked you believe it by default.
Mind chatter appears well intended by trying to protect us, but instead it brings suffering.
Some examples of psychological time would be:
ANY KIND OF WORRY
On vacation but taking pictures
Focusing on mind chatter
Your mind wandering while praying and reading scriptures
Listening with our eyes instead of our ears
Fear traps us in psychological time.
It's important to ask ourselves, "What are we so afraid of?"
Criticism, financial, God, not lovable, rejection, not enough
or in Kloe's case, we learned she was afraid of dying
or in Kloe's case, we learned she was afraid of dying
Real Time=The Present Moment.
In real time we are okay because if something is happening we will face it.
The moment you realize you are not present, you are present.
Here are 10 ideas to get ourselves into the present moment:
1-Breath
Go through the BOP
B=Breath
O=I'm Okay
P=It will Pass
2-Use your five senses
3-Get out into nature, nature is always real time
4-Do something creative
5-Gratitude
6-Meditation or prayer (be still)
7-Intuition/Personal Revelation
8-Problem solving-taking action
Taking action reduces stress, thinking about taking action is stressful (love that!)
9-Faith/Hope/Acceptance
10-Mindfulness=A mental state achieved by focusing ones awareness on the present moment in a non-judgmental manner.
A few examples of mindfulness:
Joy
Fully present for a sunrise
New situation
Feeling fully alive
Holding a newborn
Looking at a flower or painting
Feeling the breeze on your face
Tasting your food
Listening to understand
Listening to the ocean
Listening to your kids laugh
When we choose to be in the present moment there is always action involved...things like service, love, prayer, repentance.
Spiritual experiences are in the present moment. The Spirit speaks to a mind that is still.
"Taking action reduces the fear...we become what we want to be by constantly being what we want to become each day." -Richard G. Scott
God provides us with a clean slate in every moment, where mind chatter does not push us towards following Christ.
The main thing I learned from Cindy's teachings is living in the present moment is truly living and allows us to progress and find joy and abundance, whereas living in the psychological moment is merely existing, and being stuck by fear and worry. We taught all of these things to Kloe and some of our other kids. Kloe believed all of it and worked to be more present as she worked to manage her anxiety.
You can find more of Cindy's teachings at
