Moving Forward

Emmy slept in 'til 11 this morning and aside from bathroom breaks, never left this spot the rest of the day.  She wrote a report, updated her blog (yes, Emmy has a blog, I'm so proud :), typed up her bucket list for Summer, and creeped people on facebook (one of her favorite past times:)

Em has 50 things on her Summer bucket list. 

Here are a few of my favorites:

Fill a KFC bucket with Slurpee

Eat a sandwhich in a tree

Get a henna tattoo

Tape a dollar to a vending machine with a note that says, "Your snack is on me, have a great day!"

Be in 2 places at once

Learn Fiddle Faddle on the violin

Set all Sophomore school work on fire

So a couple of weeks ago I had a post titled "Looking Forward".   I have come to realize that looking forward and moving forward are two very different things.  For me, looking forward is easy.  The way I've been feeling today and at other moments since Baby Kevin's birth, moving forward seems so hard.  I feel as though I'm stuck.  For almost 8 years I've had this underlying focus or goal of getting our baby boy here.  On May 10th I accomplished that goal. I assumed raising him would be the next step but now that I know that wasn't his plan I struggle with how to move forward.

As I talk to the husband about it he points out all the obvious things to focus on--getting Jackson off to college and then a mission and 6 other kids who have all kinds of things going on.  He's right but I still feel stuck.  I just keep reminding myself as time passes I'll feel better.