Empty Handed

We came home from the hospital today.  The kids were both surprised and happy to see us.  The plan had been to come home Saturday but Kevin and I both were anxious to be home and out of the hospital.

It was so strange to go home empty handed.

The first thing I saw when we drove up were our planters full of flowers.  

When we left yesterday they were empty. 

 This was just the first of many many outpourings of love from family and friends today.

Dad gave this little one a shower and I knew her little brother would want her to have his towel.  If I'm being honest, I have to say that I really didn't think things would turn out this way.  I knew the chances were high that they would but my communications with my Father in Heaven were always a feeling of peace and to prepare for the life of this baby, not the death.  My faith and the faith of so many others was that our little guy would live and that his challenges would be minimal.  I truly believe that if it was God's will for him to be healed, our faith was sufficient for him to do so.  Thankfully I'm not confused or angry, I hope I never feel anger or frustration towards God.  He knows the end from the beginning and I think he was communicating for me to prepare for life because little Kevin is alive and well and if I could see what's in store for him and our family in the future I'd know the current separation is brief compared to the big picture.

Kevin's family took good care of the kids tonight.  Grandma's homemade pizza and a fun game of Rook made everyone feel better.  I was grateful to have some time alone.  I've never cried so hard or felt so much sorrow.  I find myself thinking about my Grandma Moon who lost a twin baby boy shortly after birth, and so many others who have lost babies.  I grieve for them too.  I find comfort in the fact that they all got through it and with time things get better.

Go HERE for more about the days following Baby Kevin's birth.