Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Tender Mercies and A Name

I've been blessed with many tender mercies as I've tried to get through the day. The biggest one is the constant reminder of the little journey we've been on to bring this baby boy into the world. Shortly after Gracie (#5) was born I had some special things happen that led me to believe that we had a little boy waiting to be a part of our family. When I found out I was expecting #6 I was sure it was that boy...until our 20 week ultrasound when clearly, #6 was not a boy. I second guessed myself, wondering if maybe I had misinterpreted the feelings I'd had. Maybe those feelings weren't specifically towards a baby boy, but rather just one more baby. I couldn't shake the feelings that I did have that boy waiting, so I prayed asking to know for sure. I could not even fathom having more than 6 children, and didn't think I had the energy to go through another pregnancy. Within a few weeks my Heavenly Father let me know without a doubt that there was in fact a little boy for our family. He was specific enough to let me know we had another girl and another boy. At the time I was still pregnant with Janie Rose so I assumed the "another girl" was Janie. I realized my assumption was wrong when #7 was a Lilly. So I find great comfort in the fact that this little guy is meant to come to our family. Even if we won't be able to get to know him until the next life.

Another tender mercy was being able to turn my brain and my tears off long enough to take a nap. I didn't have a great night last night. I finally fell asleep before midnight, woke up at 1:30am and couldn't stop thinking and crying. I wasn't alone. The baby kept kicking and poking me all night long. I just kept thinking that although his body isn't perfect his little spirit is. When I woke up from my nap the first thing I saw were these flowers on my dresser. My brother Rob and his wife Steph sent them to me along with a sweet note. Thank you both so much, you have no idea how much better they made me feel.

I got a call telling me my Grandpa Moon would be in town for a few hours today. My Grandpa Moon is one of my very favorite people. He's 88 and works harder than anyone else I know. He still has all his wits about him and he is so so funny! Everyone who knows him loves to be around him. I spent about 45 minutes with him and he'll never know what a help that was to me. Aunt Jeri, thank you so much for bringing him down.

Earlier tonight I took Kloe downtown to return some ski equipment she'd rented for her 4th grade ski day. Kevin and I were worried Kloe would take it the worst since she's seemed the most excited of all the kids. She had so many questions for me about the Plan of Salvation, about being able to see the baby again. "Will his little face be fixed?", she asked me. I was able to remind her about the blessings of the Atonement and how his little body will be perfect when he's resurrected. She asked if we could hold him when he is born. She told me how she'd just been feeling so sad and praying to her Heavenly Father for comfort. I was so grateful to hear that. We have tried to teach our children that they can turn to their Heavenly Father for help with anything they need, especially those things we can't always give them. As I talked with her about our Heavenly Father's Plan I was impressed with how much she understands at only 10 years old.

We've decided on a name for the baby. When I was pregnant with Lilly, before I knew she was a girl, I liked the idea of naming "him" after Kevin. He wasn't on board. I guess since then he's been thinking about it and the idea has grown on him. He told me today that he decided a couple of weeks ago to give him his name, Kevin David. (Remember, he names the boys and I name the girls...although we both have to agree to the name chosen). I love that he will be named after the man I love most in this world and Kevin's middle name, David, is his father's name. Another wonderful man to be named after.